speak of the devil

I was just talking to Erika about how creepy it is that Stephen isn't online all day and (beep!) he is calling me!

They got there, and he was up $150 and then down $150. There was a monkey, and a sign, give the monkey a dollar for good luck.

Finished up our phone convo like this
"I know your at work, so I'll let you go, I'm going to go sit by the pool, its hard work, but somebody's got to do it"

random thoughts 5/13/05

so I was driving back from Stephen's yesterday, and I realized, wow, the center of my steering wheel is really curvy...like a woman! So I started to fondle it. Erika was a little upset by that. Can't believe she would be jealous of my car! My...powerful...high clearance...capable of going through crappy roads...and sensually curvy...I mean, its just a truck!

psst...its actually Friday...

that is a very important detail, considering every night this week felt like a Friday night..."come on Stephen, top being such a pussy, its friday night!" "your a maniac! You've lost your mind! I have corrupted you, its only Monday!"

well yesterday was a very special day for me. After work I spent the evening napping and playing video games. Well why is that so special you ask? Well thats a fair question Timmy! What made it so special is because I was doing that with Erika. I slept with her (no, not sex, a nap!) and I got to play with her (no, not fooling around, playing video games). Those things mean something to me. Its been such a long time since I was able to have some quality time with her and play together! We played Bust-A-Move-4 and DC Squares on the Dreamcast. We also played Twisted on the 3DO. We watched some ER and I made nutela and cheese sandwiches. That was a good night for me.

I also got to talk to our little Jenny! Thats always cool. And I was told that my blog was entertaining, which is good. I need to know someone appreciates it. Also, I was told that it could be longer. YES, it COULD be longer, but its already longer than most of the blogs I come across. Very few english blogs are even AS long.

Well, today I will be leaving work early. Going to Erika's dad's birthday dinner. That should be tasty, going to London Lennies.' After wards I guess Erika and I will be going to my place, just relax there. Maybe read a special email from Jen, if she got around to sending it. Looks like they are going to be delayed even longer before they come to NY.

I called Stephen last night, either his phone is off, dead, or no service. He is in Vegas, hope he doesn't get any more dirty fucking mothers in his crotch! I picked up the Moi? album and tripod before he left. Maybe I'll get a chance to use my camera with Erika before I have to return it. And since Jen and Joe will be delayed from comming here, I am glad I got Ronit recruited to be our photographer.

Samurai Dave invited me out tonight, but its better to stay in. Conserve some cash, spend some more quality time with Erika. Besides, we will be out and about all weekend.

Anyone have any suggestions on a jaunt, a weekend adventure in the greater NYC area, or upstate? We need to adventure together.

Here's something you probably don't read every day

Cut the Shit

This is the blog of a homosexual male New Yorker. After you get over you 'gafah!' and read it, its actually very intersting to see what goes on in someone's head. Most blogs I have come across are lame and just talk about things other than their personal and inner selves. This really is a online-diary type of thing, I read the a couple of the posts, and they were interesting.

so I leave this away messege

"I'm away from my desk, but IM me if its important, or perverted"
and what type of messeges do I get?
Tony: so u want something perverted eh?
Tony: i went to this udon jap shop and they had 'bukkake' in their menu
Tony: i'll go back and order it and take some pics lol

all I can say is, 'you better Tony, you better, or alot of us will be very disapointed'

"Oh man! I got a Dirty F***ing Mother on my crotch!"

so after Stephen finally finished his dinner with his folks, he came and got Erika and I. We didn't go to the Fat Black Pussy Cat since there was no dancing that night and we didn't bring our credit cards to do the 3rd drink free thing (you have to run a tab to do that). We drove around the village area untill we settled on the Sun Burnt Cow. Love that place. Nice relaxed atmospher. No carding. Its an Australian themed place. We went to the 'out-back,' its out-side and in the back (ho HO!). It was cool. We got cocktails, and burgers. The original reason for going there was for the emu burgers, but they don't do emu anymore (waiter didn't know why), but the beef one was good too, it was assembled the same way. At one point I ordered Stephen a Dirty F***ing Mother (tasts like a White Russian) and we were talking and joking through the night, and Stephen was about to do some impression of Devang and spilled the entire drink into his crotch. It was especially great because he was really dressed up at the time. And we got to joke about a Dirty Fucking Mother being in his crotch all night. The waiter actually got him a free replacement drink, that was cool. I wouldn't mind hanging out there again, too bad we under-tipped (I think).

It felt good to be out with Erika. Holding her, chatting about whatever, and checking out women together, it felt so good, it felt so RIGHT. I think we will stay in for a couple of nights though, not spend so much money. We are still going out Saturday night to the Luna Lounge and Sunday night to the Comedy Cellar. Gonna do some shopping with Erika during SaturDAY and hopefully I can pick her up some sexy things. I am really looking forward to this weekend. Stephen is leaving tonight, I hope he gets a chance to hand off the tripod and Moi? album to me before he leaves.

5/11/05

The Mood: doin' alright, doin' alright considering I didn't go stripping last night and the day didn't go to plan, I am doing pretty good actually, looking forward to tonight.
The Music: Moi?, Moby some of his soundtracks (Mission Impossible, James Bond) and his track featuring Public Enemy (Make Love, Fuck War).
The Place: At Work! Where I usually am during the week.
The Line: "You're a maniac! You've lost your mind!" is what Stephen tends to tell (read 'yell') at me. Usually when I am driving or telling him certain ways to drive. This time it was actually when I offered him to dance for a bachlorete party last night. I thought maybe if we do a duet striptease it would be better...he did consider it, but he still didn't come out, go figure.

I was pretty ready to stip though, my face was shaved, my crotch was shaved, I was full of energy. We should have really gone there. Poor Deloris ended up with a below par bachlorete party. I feel kinda bad.

Anyone have any suggestions for my future striptease routine? Any sugestions on banana hamoks (thongs for guys) or any comments, feel free to post replies. You can do that after every post, there is a link, don't be shy, you know I'm not shy, well unless you aren't actually reading these posts. (In real life I am very shy, but online I have no reason to be).

The Morning After...

boy am I glad I planned yesterday out! (note the italics indicating sarcasm)
This was the final plan: Erika would be done with her last final around noon, and I would already be waiting to greet her as she drove into her garage. Then we would go upstairs and I would draw her a bath with the salt's I got for her. As she would get into the bath tub I would set up her room for the massage, by tidying up a little and lighting the scented candles I got her. I would then bath with her, and then shower with her, using the luffa I got her and the shower jell. Then i would carry her to her bed where I would massage her using the body lotion I got for her. Then we would cuddle for like an hour or more and then by 5 leave and go eat at Micky's Place (her favorite sushi place).

How the plan played out:
Started out fine, untill I was packing the stuff; I opened the candles to find out they aren't candles! Fine, after my shower I would have to run to Austin St. to buy them before I come over. Then I find out she is already done, a half hour early, and I still had to get those candles. My plan was being pressed, I ran to the store, found a similar fragrance, then ran to her house. She beat me by probably 4 minutes or less. So I am let in and embrace her, but the sweat I earned from all that running was unwelcome. And she was in a bad mood (not because of me). So I set up her bedroom, and I put the salts in, and try to fill her bath tub. Turns out her bath tub doesn't fill!! And then we couldn't turn off the water! Boy was she pissed off. Eventually when we all calmed down, I carried her to her room and gave her a full body massage. We cuddled for a little bit, and then ended up doing other things (I wanted more naked cuddle time!). Eventually we made it out side, the weather (to me) was perfect for a walk, sunny and warm. We walked on Austin St. and through Forest Hills Gardens, it was very nice. Then we ate at Micky's Place. Then she wanted to go back to my place, I told her that was a bad idea, but we went. She ended up doing my mom's powerpoint project the entire night we were there. I was in the other room watching TV, my alternative was to sit on the floor in my room like a dog while they worked. She was exhausted from all the stuff she had to do (late night studying for her final, taking her final, stressing out over the stuff she was pissed off during the day, then my mom's project). It was wonderful to spend some quality time with Erika yesterday, except for the parts where I was being yelled at when all I was trying to do was be romantic and make her feel better.

The big high light of last night was this; during out sushi dinner, I get a call from Ronit. The conversation went essentially like this:
I'm having a~~~~~~party.
A what?
I'm having a ~~~~~party.
Your having a party?
yeah, a bachlorete party.
So your calling me because you want me to strip for you?
Would you do it?
Do what?! Strip for you?
Yeah, would you do it?
Listen, listen, I don't think you want me, I don't have the physic for this...
Its OK, we don't mind, will you do it?
You can do much better than me! Listen, I'm in the middle of dinner with Erika, can I call you back?
Oh, sorry, OK, I'll call you back in 30 minutes.
~~~So then I call Stephen, since he was giving out lap dances and dancing on pples for fun already, and he is always working out, thought he would have the physic for it too. But he was being a bad whore and not picking up when his pimp was calling. So after I ate I called her back.
I'm trying to get Stephen to do this, he already likes to give lap dances and dance on poles, plus he excercises often, so he might have a more suitable physic!
OK, or the both of you
BOTH OF US? (this is when Erika got excited and offered to tape that)

Fast forward to past midnight, none of us went. I really, REALLY wanted to though. Erika said I was punished and I couldn't. I have never done this before, so I wasn't really feeling like doing this infront of everyone, but just Ronit, the Bride and Maid of Honor would have been cool. Although I don't have a babana hamok or music or a routine, I could have had fun. Their standards weren't high, so that was good. From what I understand the women were pretty good looking, so there shouldn't have been any erection problems. How many more bachlorete parties can I get invited to in a life time? I feel like I missed out on an awesome opportunity. You know, something to tell the grandchildren about! But I didn't want to break Erika's heart or anything like that, so I stayed home :-(

This morning I was doing my work out, and thinking about possible stripper moves I can do. Definately gonna get me a thong, JUST IN CASE I get another stripper emergency call. I hate to disapoint. And I always wanted to be treaded like a sex object by women. I have never seen myself as the good looking or the desirable type, but from my experience with strippers, most of them aren't that good looking! Its more about attitude and what you can do. I want women to want me, feel sexy, and it might be really fun, a great story to tell. Maybe some of my lady friends will just need a party favor when its not a bachlorete party, so I should practise. I tried out a couple of moves this morning. I would have gone if Stephen was in, but its crazy how he thought I was insane! I'm insane to want to get naked for women who want it? Go to a party where there would be only women!? Although I wasn't going to get paid, Ronit was offering a room for Erika, me and anyone else who wanted to party with us in private. In another reality, one where me and Erika showed up, a mind blowing good time was had! If they got Mike to dance for them, I am sure they would have had a great time, he is a sexy man!

Well, tonight we party! Erika, Stephen and I are going out. Hitting the Fat Black Pussy Cat I guess. 3rd Drink Free night. Tomorrow Stephen will be leaving for Vegas I think. Hopefully I won't dance a hole into my shoe tonight.

I love women

I really, really do. I love females that are of the legal consenting age and have the bodies to match. I love the curves of a woman's body. If I had to pick the hottest celebrity, I would pick Selma Hayek (just with a different head, that thing is way to angular/masculine). I love the curves of the woman that make her figure so special. The hour-glass figure. I don't know exactly where the anarexic standard for beauty came from in this culture, but I am lucky not to be brainwashed by the media into wanting that. My girlfriend is very beautiful. Yes, she is on they skinny side, but not by choice, she is just genetically thin, but she does have her curves. She is healthy. Sometimes I just want to watch her lay on her side (which accentuates her figure), so I can admire her curves. I love when women wear heels, because it makes them flex work their legs all the way up to their curvy bottoms. I hate seeing a woman who has a healthy butt obscure those sensually delightful curves by not wearing a thong when she is wearing jeans/pants, its just not right. Just like when they have nice tight/fit abs, and they don't wear shirts that show that off. For crying out loud! You will not look that good forever, show it while you go it! And I love when they accentuate their trim bellies with naval piercings, thats so hot. I love body jewelry.

I like to be realistic, not everyone can look as hot as Erika or hotter, so I do find less attractive women still sexy. I am not the only one, I see lots of people with women that aren't hot. There are women who only have A or B cups and are still very attractive, probably because the rest of their body is fit, or maybe they just know how to accentuate their finer features. Sometimes its just how they carry themsleves. Somtimes there are thick girls who are still attractive. They could be called fat, but I call them thick, but only when they carry it well, as in they are well disperessed/displaced; their bodies retain proper proportions, no bulging fat areas on their bodies. I was hanging out with Anat and Ronit last week, and they said they don't believe in Penis Envy, they do believe guys have Breast Envy. I know I do! They are so powerful! If I can quote Dave Attel, 'they are so powerful, they make me do things, I don't want to listen to you, YET HERE I AM!' They rythmic movement of your body parts, its so amazing, to watch you boobies rise and fall with every breath, and jiggle when you run fast, or when that stripper was slapping my face with them. Same goes for your booties, when you walk, especially in heels, your hips bounce up and down and left and right and your ass flexes and relaxes and moves so nicely. It feels so right to grab the booty, or caress the boobies.

I love the softness and smoothness of your skin. I love tracing your curves along your smooth bodies with the tips of my fingers. I love the feel of your soft bodies pressed up against my own. Women can be so heavenly. Yes, I am focusing purely on the sexual and the physical aspects, well yeah, because thats what I felt like talking about right now. But I can get a little psychological too, maybe that will make someone happy that was dissatisfied by the rest of this post.

There can be average looking women, and even below average that are still very sexy. "How can that be?" I'm glad you asked Billy, now if you would put your pants back on, I will explain. Sexuality is mostly psychological. Ever wonder how just spending time with a person can make them more (sometimes less) attractive? When you are spending more time with the person you are able to get to know them better and find features that you like, and learn to ignor things that you might not. The trick is this, when you see someone and your brain processes them as 'hot' or 'not' it is based on the superficial and very basic triggers that are visual cues for psychological reactions. When you get to know a person, those cues can be activated by other means. I know a woman who is average looking, but I find her to have lots of sex appeal (maybe I'm being too generous). I know another one who looks very sexy looking, but I don't find her to have sex appeal (I wouldn't have sex with her).

Since we are on the subject of sex (is there a time when I am not?), I would like to share a few things I learned in my Sex and Society class I took when I was in college (this past Fall). Couples who have been together for a relatively long time (each couple having different standards for 'long') tend to have less sex than they did when it was fresh. People who have constant access to a sex partner do not have sex more often than those who don't. Monogomy and Patriarchal systems are not universal for humans. These are all concluded from scientific reseach. Now (her come my theories) the reason long term couples have less sex than they did earlier on is because there is less urgency; in the begining there is less certainty that you will be able to do it again, so you try to take every opportunity you can (among other reasons) and when you realize it will always be there for you, you don't have to take every opportunity, and dedicate your time to other things and catch up on the sex later, because you know it will be there. Sometimes it does get boring, but the more educated and financially better off (research again) actualy have kinkier sex lives, so as long as you have a partner who you can truly be open with, you can keep your sex lives interesting by sharing fantacies, if you are lucky, live them out, or just try all kinds of new toys or games to incorporate. Sex is best enjoyed in a secure environment, where you are safe and you know you can trust your partner to not hurt you and that their love is true and committed to you, then you can have LOTS of fun. That is the cornersonte of swinging, the couple loves each other truly, but they like to mess around with others, but its not a love issue, its purly physical, and they are doing it together, there is no secrecy or deception of any kind. In fact, outside the swinging situation, they are a regular loving couple, and if they had sex with someone else when not in that situation, it would be cheating. And they still enjoy sex with just the 2 of them, its just a little extra they like to have sometimes.

Its all even better when your woman loves women too. Just the thought of it makes me throb with sexuality. There are people who are threatened by that, but who gives a rats ass about them, I don't party with conservatives. I am more than happy to simply watch girl on girl action, but if I am invited, then the party really begins. I recomened it to everyone. The most important thing is to have trust and know where your love is. Then just go off and have some fun, try to keep it safe, but most importantly fun! And invite us, we can be really fun (wink wink).

I so tired

my mom was working on her final untill around 3:30AM. So I went to sleep around 4AM. At least I am not working tomorrow. I am at work now. Maybe blogging will stimulate my mind. Saturday came and went. Stephen kidnapped me and forced me to check out The Courriers, they weren't all that. They sounded like Weezer, I wouldn't pay to see Weezer. There was an up to it, Royce Petterson was there to check out the band that came on before the Weezer-esq band. His Angel (?) gave Stephen a contact for Vegas. Royce actually remembered me/us as 'one of those 3 drunk guys from after the show last time.' So I told him, "we weren't that drunk, I DID get us home alive."

Then we finally made it to The Beer Garden in Astoria. Finally met Anat's friend Adid (or is it Ah-dee?), she has the tiniest hands I have ever seen on an adult woman. We hung out there for a while. Mike was there, sipping on beer, which surprised me completly (I didn't expect him to being doing that at all). Funny how there was finally someone who dressed like Stephen (Mike that is). YO! Anat was looking HOT! WORD. LOW low low cut jeans, tight and a little short t-shirt, hot stuff, did a little wiggling. I was wearing my 'doing time in a universal mind' t-shirt, so I was feeling good regardless. Did a little bit of the beer drinking. Stephen looked miserable, but I was liking it because the place was full of Europeans. We met this guy Jimie and were joking around through out the night, he looked like Baluci from Animal House. Then we hit Ronit's place for some tea and crumb cake. I got home around 5Am, and of course, this was the 2nd Saturday night out that I was left disapointed that we didn't stay out till the sunrise. But I had fun, Stephen didn't. It was cool to see Mike in a different element.

What is there to argue about when I say that the government always represents the plaintiff (is the plaintiff). My statement was refering to them never representing a defendant, when Ronit said her firm only represents the plaintiff, so I said something like 'just like the government.' Obviously your are talking about something else entirely, but if you can't connect the 2, then thats just your short sightedness or just the beer. Some people get really defensive over stupid things. I am feeling a little more awake now.

Its not right to go to college, and get a higher education and end up working inhuman hours. It shouldn't be that way. Humans shouldn't work more than 7 hours a day, I think in France the full work day is even less. American society is disgusting, and I am part of the same compost heap.

Looks like no orgy in Bing this coming weekend. Oh well. Erika and I will have to find something else fun to do. This time tomorrow I will be...very very excited, FREEDOM DAY! Now if only this coincided with May Day, or Victory Day, no, actually, I think its better she has her own day.

I'm feeling pretty, I got my new purple dress shirt, and my black slacks and my black dress boots. Feeling loose and sexy. Thinking, 'hey, maybe I should have gone commando today.' I'll probably go commando tomorrow. I need to remember to cut my finger nails tonight or tomorrow morning. That and shave.

I keep meaning to write down more profound things than just the recaps of my days here. At least something with a little more depth, some emotion or something.

Last night I saw a feature on the CBC about a man living with wolves and that he understands their language. Then I watched on the Discovery Channel, Living With Wolves, it wasn't the same person, or the same wolves. But it was awesome. They are such complex creatures. The naration was its typical anthropomorphic style, but that is a great tool to keep people interested in a story. It reminded me of my late dog. I have been missing him very much lately. He died in January, I was very upset then. And I am saddened now. The weather is so nice, I always feel like, 'hey, this is great weather to take Luie to the dog run' or 'it sure is nice now, I'm sure Luie would enjoy a long walk.' I miss him so. He was a good dog, he had a full life, and its better this way, that what I have to keep reminding myself. But it still sadens me. I was leaving my building the other day, and someone's dog was barking and it could be heard through out the building, just like when Luie was still around. A week ago Stephen and I were eating at AJ's and I saw this beautiful couple, the man had a big dog, and the woman had a baby in a harness (baby was facing forward, not backward, which is typically the way a man wear's a baby harness), and I was thrilled and upset at the same time. Thrilled because that is what I want my future to look like (I want to be part of beautiful couple with a big dog and healthy baby that faces the world) and upset because I really wish I could go on a long walk with Luie and Erika again.
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050509/ap_on_re_af/kenya_abandoned_baby
With stories like this, I don't understand how anyone can have issues with dogs. There are modern accounts of children raised by dogs. 2 stories in particular out of Ukraine. Alcoholic parents abandoning their children, and dogs end up taking care of them and raising them.

The price you pay for free economy is dehumanization. There is a reason the 'developing world' is forced to accept 'free economy' standards and those imposing those standards don't apply them to themselves. No stable country is a free economy. Why am I even talking about this here, no one cares, you just want to hear about your orgies don't you? Well yeah! Why not? Who doesn't enjoy a good orgy? Keep it comming, and keep your boring and silly political views to yourself, bring on the bitches!