brimful of anger
I just feel like raging out! I was at work today a around 8, I just got home around 12:3o AM. My weekend was a disapointment. I am extremely frustrated. I am going to have to work another Thanksgiving Friday! I feel so miserable. What would make me happy would be a good co-op game of Operation Flashpoint, but if I hop onto Xbox Live right now, no way will I get enough sleep to function at work. And I really need to function there, its crunch time, and I feel the crunch. But I feel like I am the only one who feels it.
I feel like such an outsider in my own department. Physically, everyone else is all lined up, I am off to the side. Background as well; they are all friends that go way back, share interests, stories, language, jokes. The also seem to have entered their work much quicker, even though Vicky is newer than me. I feel like I am failing myself. I even feel like I am making Stephen look bad. And I can't even enjoy myself after work because I can't make time to play my games because I am doing something with Erika or something else. I feel so increadibly unhappy right now. I can't even enjoy a good jerking off, COME ON! you know there is a problem if I can't enjoy a good jerk off!
I could have really used that 4 day weekend. To sleep in for 4 days, and spend 4 days playing video games and maybe go out with Erika at night. That would have been a great holiday weekend for me. I would have felt good after that, I'm sure of it. But I'm not going to have that. I am going to have to come in on Friday. And unlike last year, it wont be an adventure, just all day data entry. I don't want to do anything after work. So all I end up doing IS work. Now I know what happened to my parents. And I would love to sit in front of my monitor and play my video games, but I also want to spend time with Erika when she actually has that rare free time. But I usually end up just in her back ground, watching her TV, that I am not really interested in and I have to beg to watch something I can even slightly enjoy.
Just a couple more weeks of cruch time...
I feel like such an outsider in my own department. Physically, everyone else is all lined up, I am off to the side. Background as well; they are all friends that go way back, share interests, stories, language, jokes. The also seem to have entered their work much quicker, even though Vicky is newer than me. I feel like I am failing myself. I even feel like I am making Stephen look bad. And I can't even enjoy myself after work because I can't make time to play my games because I am doing something with Erika or something else. I feel so increadibly unhappy right now. I can't even enjoy a good jerking off, COME ON! you know there is a problem if I can't enjoy a good jerk off!
I could have really used that 4 day weekend. To sleep in for 4 days, and spend 4 days playing video games and maybe go out with Erika at night. That would have been a great holiday weekend for me. I would have felt good after that, I'm sure of it. But I'm not going to have that. I am going to have to come in on Friday. And unlike last year, it wont be an adventure, just all day data entry. I don't want to do anything after work. So all I end up doing IS work. Now I know what happened to my parents. And I would love to sit in front of my monitor and play my video games, but I also want to spend time with Erika when she actually has that rare free time. But I usually end up just in her back ground, watching her TV, that I am not really interested in and I have to beg to watch something I can even slightly enjoy.
Just a couple more weeks of cruch time...
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